My DEEPEST thoughts

A few months ago I uploaded a very random post about being happy, and in there I explained what I was feeling back then. Today's post is also going to be about my feelings and my thoughts. It has been inspired by a youtube video that I have watched almost an hour ago and by a post of one of my bestest friends.
I have never been diagnosed with something related to depression or something related in anyway but that does not mean that I am a happy and lively person the whole time. Most of the time I spend by myself (and unfortunately it is a looot) I dedicate it to think about my life and everything that surrounds me. And I do not know why It has been a couple of weeks that I have not been feeling very well.
It has been over a month since I started university and everything is not great. I mean, the people that I have just met are amazing. They are very kind and great. But what is happening to me is that I didn't get to study what I really wanted to because I did not have the grades enough to do it. So now I had to enter into a career that I do not love. Actually I can not even decide if I like it yet. I wanted to do Biotechnology and instead of that I am doing Chemical engineering. It is just okay. I do not hate it but I do not feel passionate about it. Because of that I have lost almost all my motivation and now I am not feeling good about it. I go to university because I have to if I do want to have a future but really lately what I  would love more than anything is just stay in bed and disconnect from the world. I know that now I feel more depressed or something and in two days I will be just fine but it is an issue that really worries me.
Moreover, a few weeks ago I decided to start two youtube channels (and I still want to keep up with it) but I have not been feeling confident enough or even happy or cheerful to film some videos that I would actually like to upload.
The video that I told you at the beginning of the post has inspired me to write this because I can relate my situation to what that girl is feeling. There are some times when you are feeling down and you do not know why. It happens to me very very often. And it really frustrates me. There are moments when I feel like crap and I do not know what to do about it because I really don't know what caused it.
I think that these feelings are due to a quite dark time of my high-school years when I suffered a lot and although most of the time I feel like I am so over it, there are other moments when I still feel nervous and sad about it. It was a time when I was almost completely alone. And I can tell you that feeling lonely is one of the worse feelings... These things that I am writing right now are some of my deepest thoughts. Many people close to me do not know about it and I think that I should express what I felt back then as I did not tell anyone how I was really feeling. I may seem like a very emotionally strong person but it is true that when my mind goes back to that time and those feelings I become the most vulnerable person of the world.
It has been almost three years from then and It still upsets me as if it was yesterday. I really don't know why I  am writing this or if it even does make any sense but I felt like I really needed to share those feelings with someone. The only positive thing I can see here is that what I felt when I was fifteen made me much stronger and mature. It made me grow up faster; while on the other hand it made me create this kind of wall inside of me because of what It is very hard for me to trust someone or to even gain someone trust.
In addition, I strongly believe on a sentence that I always have in mind and that I first heard in one of my all time favorite songs which is Who You Are by Jessie J. The sentence that I am talking about is: "It is okay not to be okay".


To sum up, I think I would have to figure out a way of making things work this year at university. Besides,  I believe that it does not matter how hard I try those sad and bad memories from a few years ago are always going to have a place on my head due to the pain and the suffering that they did make me feel. What pisses me the most is that these past few weeks I should have felt excited and happy as I am turning 18 in less than 24 hours but it has not been like that.

So yes, that is my post for today. I do not know it it makes sense or if it is even what you would like to read but I really needed to share these two things with somebody.

Thanks for reading
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My trip to England

Today I decided to write a blog post about my trip to England! This summer I spent 3 weeks in Brighton and I had the best time ever!
I think that this post is going to be everything about pictures because I strongly believe that it is the best way to show you the things that I got to see.
I was living in Brighton but I also visited London, Bath and Seven Sisters
Enjoy the pictures!

I am afraid it is going to be a very very long post but I hope you like it!

BRIGHTON








LONDON








SEVEN SISTERS




STONEHENGE AND BATH











Thank you very much for reading my blog!
See you very soon!

Victoria's Secret Amber Romance Set

This summer when I went to Brighton (I will do a post about it very soon) I could not leave without going to Victoria's Secret. The day I went to London I did not have time left so the last day, when I was already at Gatwick Airport I saw a VS shop and I did not think about it and I went in!
I had heard so many good things about the VS's Fragrance mists that I had to get one (as here in Madrid I think you can not buy them).
So I spent quite a lot of time in the shop trying to decide which one I was going to purchase and finally I went for the Amber Romance one but instead of buying just the Fragrance Mist I decided to get the set where you can find a Hydrating Body Lotion and a Body Wash beside the mist.
And now that I have tried them I can not describe with words how much I love them. I use the Fragrance Mist almost everyday and I don't know what I am going to do when it is finished.
I can say nothing about this products but how great they are. The touch of scent you get with the fragrance is so good!!! And the smoothness and smell you obtain with the body lotion is just great.

 
 
 



Also what I love about this pack is that It is really a perfect gift idea. It is quite inexpensive and it is a very cute detail to give someone you love!

I hope you did like this kind  of post. I know it was a short one but there are a lot more on their way. See you very soon!

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Today is not a good day|| Sneak peak into my thoughts||

Today is one of those days in which you do not want to do anything but to lay in bed and think about your life and the choices you've made.
So in this brief post I will tell you my current thoughts. Today is not a good day. That sentence is the perfect description to my mind right now. I don't know if it even makes sense but I think you get the idea.
Today is one of those days when you start asking yourself stupid questions such as: Am I fitting in? Do I have someone to trust my feelings to? Am I all by myself? And that way you start to feel a little bit depressed. What I mean by stupid questions is that you already know the answer to those questions. It is just that everybody has its  insecurities and sometimes it makes you feel like you are nothing or like you will end being nothing. But at the end of the day we all know that this is not true.
When you get to know me I may seem like a strong person but deeply inside me I have a loooooot of insecurities. For instance, I am not comfortable with a lot of parts of my body or even with my personality...
This creates a fear of rejection inside me that causes a little bit of anxiety sometimes that, in my case, just lead to a bad day. (My bad days are not based on crying or anything like that mainly because is very very hard for me to cry, I will tell you why in another occasion).
During those bad days I just wonder about my current situation and everything going on in my life...

To avoid the depression after being thinking about these kind of things I like to focus on what it really matters. I forget about the pointless or meaningless things and I try to focus on the important things. That way those bad thoughts go away and you end up forgetting what was really bothering you.

Another choice to avoid this depression is to completely change the activity or the thing you were doing when those thoughts came to your mind. And that is what I do the most.
For instance, an hour ago those bad thoughts invaded my head and I chose not to let them in and completely change subject. And that is when I decided to focus all my attention into writing a post about my feelings and those bad days. And believe it or not it does really help. Right now I feel so much better than when I started to write this post. When I started I didn't even know how to structure my thoughts because I was not very sure of what my feelings were. However I can definitely tell the difference and how changing the subject and the activity that I was doing has helped me to forget what was bothering me in the first place.

So this post is kind of an advice one (or a self-advice, as I was following my own ones). I hope it makes sense and you'd like this post.
Thanks for reading! See you soon ^^


PS: I've been loving this so give it a go please!


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Big Announcement

Today is finally the day that I feel confident enough to start a new challenge. I have wanted to open a Youtube Channel for so long, I think that almost a year and today I am opening not one youtube channel but two.
I decided to start two youtube channels all at once. One of them will be in spanish and the other one will be in English. I hope you go and check them out and subscribe to both of them if you feel kind enough or just share it with your friends! Either way it would be lovely!


I dont know why this page would not let me attach the english video! So this is the Spanish one but you can see the english channel at the end of the entry and the introduction video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GkTOjaKvS8





English Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoPOxlh1G7W34kJIw8gKMMA/
Spanish Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyeayvL2AKAFgXoGkaQ-CiA

Bye! See you very very soon!

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#VFNO

Hello!!! How is everything going so far?
I hope you are all doing fine and that going back to class or to your jobs isn't being that hard!

Yesterday here in Madrid there was a big fashion event sponsored by Vogue that was called Vogue Fashion Night Out (VFNO). This event is a way to announce fall/winter clothing collection. In Madrid there were 2 main places where you could go to enjoy your evening. They were both free because is in the street but there were also some places or "Parties" where only people with and special invitation could enter.
Those two places was Fuencarral Street and Serrano Street. If you know anything about Madrid or you have been in Madrid you would probably know that these streets are in Madrid's city centre.
Fuencarral Street is a pedestrian street where most of the fashion and beauty stores are. For instance in this street you would find the only Brandy Melville that there is in Madrid, apart from other shops such as MAC, Kiehls, Kiko, The Body Shop, Double Agent, Brownie, Michael Kors...

But last night I went to Serrano Street. It is placed in El Barrio de Salamanca which is probably the richest area in Madrid. In this street you can find stores such as Dior, Chanel, Lancome, MAC, Nars, Bobbi Brown, Aristocracy, Tous or even the biggest Zara in Madrid (It has around 5 floors).

So once a friend of mine and I arrived there we wanted to have a look around the shops and mostly we wanted to find out what was it about, as it was the first time we attended to this event.
First of all, we went to a MAC store where the shop assistants offer us the chance to try their new collection called A Novel Romance. There they tried on my an eye make up look.
They used a very creamy eye shadow called Electric Cool Eye Shadow in shade Pure Flash (which is a kind of champagne color) and they applied it all over my eyelid. And then they used the Stay Sultry eye shadow (Which is a dark purple color) and they put it in my crest to add some depth to my eyes. Finally they tried on my the Faux Lipstick from the Satin collection and as a blush what the girl used on me was the Animal Instinct Powder Blush ( this color is a shimmering plum).

Then after that we went to the other shops, in some of them there was free food and drinks for everyone. And we had a lovely evening although it was way too crowded.
So I took a few pictures with my phone and then at home I took a few more to show you what I was wearing.






Zara

Necklace- Zara
Dress -Zara

Zara


So this was my experience at the VFNO. It was my first time and I did love it. I am definitely going every year henceforth. As you might have noticed I LOVE Zara.

By the way, my friend is Aisha and she also have a blog so why don't you go and check it out?
It would be great !!
Thanks!!!
http://thewords-yousay.blogspot.com.es/

See you soon! ^^

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End of High-School Trip!

Hi there!!!
How is everything going?
I have just started university! I am so so so EXCITED! But at the same time I'm very very scared, because is a very hard career and It requires a lot of hours in and out of the school, but I know that I will make it work!

Although starting the university is something very exciting that is not what I wanted to talk about today! I wanted to share with you a little video that I edited a month ago.
When my class mates and me finished our exams and high-school we went to a Spanish island called Palma de Mallorca, which is near Ibiza. There we wanted to enjoy our last time together before going to university. Saying goodbye to the people that were in your class for over 13 years was a hard moment. Everyone of us has now chosen our future. Most of us are now studying a degree at university... But I do know for sure that we will see each other very soon.

In Mallorca we had an amazing week in which the main activity was going to the clubs during the night and sleep in the beach during the day. After a very hard year of studying and working we really deserved that trip.
As I quite enjoy filming and editing videos I decides to film some moments of our time there and I put it together. I hope you enjoy it. (Most of it is in spanish, as we are spanish people and we were in Spain hahaha).


And now I would love to share with you some pictures I took there. Unfortunately, we did not get to see many places in the island.





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See you very soon! 

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